I find myself continually amazed by the girl who was placed in my life about 8 1/2 years ago. She is honest and true. She is bright and creative. She is loving and kind. She has emotional intuition that blows my mind and I find myself blessed beyond measure that God would choose me to be this girl’s mother. I feel loved by His choice. Tears come to my eyes and a lump forms in my throat as I think of the abundant joy of my daughter.
I know, I know “wait until she’s a teenager” a lot of you parents who are reading this are saying. Ok. I’m sure the day will come when I’ll be pulling my hair out wondering what the hell to do with this kid who has her own opinion and makes her own stubborn choices, and so on and so on and so on. Ok. That day will come. Those teenage years will arrive and I’m sure I have no idea how it will be (comparable to those expectant parents who blissfully await their sweet little bundle of goodness, and those of us who know those sleepless nights smile and nod and think “oh just you wait”).
But this is what I know for now… I have an honest kid who tells me hard things. It’s not only my heart that has been through the wringer, but so has hers. Not only did her parents divorce, but her mom moved her 3 states away from everything she ever knew, to start a new life. This kid has told me some really hard things, with all of her heart, her guts and her tears. And you know what I hope? Is that when she hits those teenage years, that she’ll continue to tell me the hard things. That she’ll continue to be honest with me and with those around her. That she’ll continue to feel the unconditional love of God no matter what path she might take.
I’m currently sitting on an airplane flying home from NYC after my daughter has just spent the weekend with her father. I know it’s not easy for her to leave her dad. I absolutely respect how hard that must be. But I must say that I’m looking forward to getting back to the quiet that is what we now know as home. Gail picking us up from the airport, all of us heading back to work and school; and we move on. We move on. One more step into being an 8 1/2 year old in 3rd Grade. One more step into life together – real and raw, honest and true, being who we are and loving life for all its worth.
Thanksgiving is this week. I have a boatload of goodness for which to be thankful. God is good. My heart and my belly are at peace. Blessed beyond measure and grateful beyond words.