I stood watching the typical Times Square shenanigans tonight, all while spending time with good friends in the comfort of our 2-family house on this side of the river in a quiet neighborhood. I was wearing my cozy pajamas and slippers; that’s what I call a new year’s celebration. I stood there as the ball dropped and found myself saying good-bye to a year that was one of the hardest of my life. I was teary, but it was a different type of tears than the new year’s usual. I didn’t spend time reflecting and wishing I could have done some things differently. Instead, I spent the last few moments of 2016 saying good riddance, and moving on toward 2017 with my head held high. I have no idea what this year holds. I never knew what last year held. The roller coaster began on January 4. Where am I a year later? Still on a roller coaster, but not as intense. Sitting in a holding pattern as I wait for the next move; will the move be mine or his? I will not miss the heartache, the pain, the tears, the anxiety, the fear, the frustration that I felt this past year. Battles fought, words hurled. I won’t miss any of that. However, I wouldn’t trade anything for the closeness I felt to Jesus through all of this. Time and again I felt His faithfulness shine through on my cold dank heart like a refreshing ray of light. He got me through it all the while saying, “I love you. I have plans for you. I see you fit to stand this test.” I am thankful for His goodness, His grace, His mercy.
Tag Archives: new years
The end of the year. It’s time to reflect. Not sure how not to make it the usual reflection. Hm, let’s see. Heck, I’m just going to write….
Graduation – one of the hardest things I ever did in my life was going back to school in the midst of having a kid, being married and working full time. But I did it. I did it! Would I do it again? I have honestly thought of going back to get another degree, but my family needs me more and for now I’ll gladly talk about old buildings and work to save them. 🙂
Loss – here are the tears. I lost a very, very dear friend in August, two days before my birthday. It was a bittersweet August this year. Memories from the last 10 years of friendship frequently pop into my thoughts. Softball, house church, OSU football, good beer, music, the list goes on and on. You called me sis. Good friendship. I miss you, Ron Olah.
David – celebrated 19 years this year. What? Where in the world did that go? We’ve grown in many ways. Laughs, tears, bumps, bruises, Ohio, NYC… we live adventure. If we’re still together after 19 years with all the growth, adventure, bumps and bruises, then we must have something going. 😉 Love you, bud.
Mathilda – I don’t even know how to write words to describe the amazingness of this kid. Absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done in my life… motherhood. But oh how amazing and rewarding. She moves me beyond words and I find myself forever thankful for her in my life. People call her my Mini Me and it’s a precious honor. She’s become my extension, my little buddy, my shopping friend, my fellow bubble tea lover, and a dear soul who lives life with every single ounce of her 4 1/2 year old being. May Jesus guide you, and may you find purpose and a very amazing path.
God – He’s extremely real to me. February of this year marked 10 years since my life changed. I was 30. My world had turned upside down and faith like I had growing up just wasn’t doing it for me. Instead, I came to the realization of a very real God (no matter who says I’m crazy), and I know for my own life – that even though life is tough, and very hard things happen and things may not make sense – I have actually had more joy in 10 years with Jesus playing a very real, loving, gracious, faithful role in my life than the 30 years before the day I came to the amazing knowledge of His saving grace. I am His and He is mine. That’s all there is to it. Bottom line.
And that’s 2015 in a blog of a nutshell. Onward to the unknown of 2016.
Happy New Year.