I’m trying to get a grasp on things, but I find myself grasping for things that are falling out of my reach. I’m stuck in a job where my full potential is not used, and the people who have any say over my job could care less. They run their business, and that’s all that matters to them. People in this workplace could be totally miserable, and it wouldn’t matter. If our well-being does mean something to them, they have a very strange way of showing it.
I need out. How do I do this? I don’t know. I’m slowly making a plan and will exit when everything works out. When will this happen? I don’t know. I can’t even see my hand in front of my face because the proverbial fog is so thick.
And then I think of a scripture that says, “My ways are not your ways,” and I know that God loves me more than anything and wants nothing but the best for me. At this point in my life when the fog seems the thickest, and I can’t see what the next step is supposed to be, He’s so sweetly saying, “Hold on. I’ve got you. I’ve got this. I care for you. I want nothing but good things for you. I’m growing you. I’m stretching you and you will become the person you need to be. Just rest in me and find joy. Find joy in Me. Not in others who will undoubtedly fail you, but in Me.”
And while I write these words, I’m moved and pleased that I’m actually turning to these positive thoughts. Thankful that my heart has turned in that direction. However, something will happen tomorrow, and again I will feel unappreciated and used and will need to be reminded again that God’s got me.
The flesh and the Spirit wrestle continually. Thank God the Spirit has no intention of losing the daily battle within. For that I am thankful.