Monthly Archives: November 2014

Beautiful and Hopeful

We said good bye to Maudine today. Someone asked me how the service was and I said it was beautiful and hopeful. The songs we sang, the scripture that was read, the song Mark sang and the eulogy that Craig gave; all were just a small snap shot of who this incredible woman was. The slideshow showed some sweet memories that I’m sure were treasures to those who remember their mom, mother-in-law and grandma the way they’d always known her. I only knew her for 4 short years, but for some reason it feels as though she had been a part of my life for so much longer.

I was invited downstairs for dinner with them when we got home. I was a “fly on the wall in Fee-ville” and it was an honor. Sometimes someone was playing a guitar and singing. There was lots of talking and bonding and just being together. I got to talk with Gordon for a little bit and just sit with him. That was a sweet time. So much of the evening I found myself just sitting and looking around at people being together. They’re the Fee’s. Getting together all at one time is not uncommon for this family. However, getting together without the matriarch of the bunch was probably¬†very surreal to them.

My heart is with them as the days, weeks, months and years go by without this sweet woman. Jesus, hold them tight.

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Completely Whole

My friend’s mom went to be with Jesus early this morning. No more pain, no more suffering; just completely whole and renewed in the presence of her Creator.

She said something to me when my daughter was 5 little weeks old. It was something that I took with me and for some reason it kept me sane. This woman with grown children, in their 40s and 50s, said to me, “The years fly by, but the days are eternal.” Yes. This is true. Very true. I hope that when I pass these words along to other moms, that they will calm them the way they calmed me. Thanks, sweet friend.

Goodbye, Maudine. You will be missed. But we know we have hope for a reunion with you and it will be sweet. Enjoy running. Enjoy your reunion with those you’ve been waiting to see again. We’ll see you later. Love you.

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Hearts Are Breaking

My friend’s mother is slowly passing away as I type this blog. She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s a few years back, and we have watched her decline from her sharp, witty, clever self for awhile now. She’s a sweet soul, and my heart is broken for my friend and his family as they watch his mother pass and wait to say final good-byes. (Another person passing in my life who has been struck by a sad disease that just takes them away slowly from the people who love them.) I hate this fallen world. I hate the pain. I hate the suffering. I know that while my friend’s heart breaks, God’s heart breaks, too. He hates how fallen this world is; hence the reason He sent His Son. There’s hope for her; she’ll be with Jesus. She’ll be whole again. She’ll be sharp, clever and witty again. Her husband has Alzheimer’s. He’s still sharp enough to know that he’s losing his best friend down here on this earth – his beloved love of his life. God, hold on tight to that man. God, hold on tight to my friend whose parents are slowly leaving. They were his first friends. Be with my friend as his very first friend in the whole world will be leaving soon. But thank you for the grace that you give in abundance as their hearts are breaking. Love on them with everything You are, please.

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A Moment in Time for My Memories

I received one of the best birthday gifts of my life this year when I turned 40; tickets to a Broadway show. Without getting long winded about how I hemmed and hawed over what I was going to see, I will just fast forward to the part where my sister-in-law Meg mentioned the show “Love Letters” of which I knew nothing about. So I looked it up. There staring at me on the page was Carol Burnett. Could this be true? Could I actually have the chance to see Carol Burnett live on stage? This is something I had only been dreaming about since I was a kid.

Fast forward to today. I patiently worked through my day, knowing that at 7pm, one of my long time dreams would become a reality. I got out of work and I nervously walked to the train station with all of the anticipation of Charlie who had won the golden ticket and was finally going to meet Willy Wonka. I had butterflies in my stomach, as did my beloved sister who shares my excitement with me to such a level that only she and I can understand. I met David at the theatre and walked in to quite a lovely, quaint little intimate theatre that I never imagined was on Broadway. Gorgeous place (Brooks Atkinson Theatre for those who are wondering). I had written a letter for Carol earlier in the day, and saw the house manager and asked if she would please deliver. I can only trust that she did (fingers crossed). We got to our seats and I had no words. I had nothing to say. I had been waiting for this moment for so long that I didn’t know what to say. I just know I was happy. And then the lights dimmed.

She walked on stage with Brian Dennehy and the tears flowed. A moment in time that I will forever keep tucked away in my memory.

The play was very well done. The story was beautiful and the two of them did a remarkable job at bringing two characters to life as they sat in two chairs at a table reading love letters. It was the same Carol that I have always known and loved; same hand gestures, same intonations, same facial expressions. I loved seeing all of that in person. Beautiful.

She didn’t sign autographs at the end of the night. She quietly left out another door as we all waited by the stage door. That’s ok though. I was in the same room with a person who was a part of a dream when I was a kid, and as I wrote in my letter to her, “Even if I don’t get to meet you, I can still check this off of my bucket list.”

As Jainie said to me the other day, “Rome and Carol Burnett all in the same year!” Yep. What a way to spend the year that I turn 40. I am happy.

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Ah, Voting

Ah, politics. The thing that gets people so uptight. I hate politics. I hate discussing them because they create a tension that divides people and turns friends, and sometimes even family, against each other because neither side really takes the time to hear the other person’s thoughts.

I grew up voting one party and my thoughts and beliefs have evolved into voting for the other as I have gotten older. Have I turned my back on my core beliefs? No. Not at all. I am in disbelief how I used to judge folks though for voting differently. Now I hope that I don’t judge as I used to and I’ll just vote the way I believe.

When it comes down to it, here’s the bottom line – we live in an ugly, fallen, screwed up world that tries to fix itself by relying on mortal man. The only thing that can fix this country and this world is the love of Jesus. Until that is realized, there will still be tension, there will still be politics and people will still be divided.

I will cast my vote today. A privilege fought for and I am thankful. And as a woman in this country, an additional thankfulness because I know women in other countries today don’t have that honor…. yet.

Until the Kingdom of God reigns beautifully upon this earth… Onward!

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Peaceful Weekend

We had a really good weekend this weekend; we meaning Mathilda and myself. I’ve been having the toughest time with her lately because of her 3 1/2-ness, but this weekend was an amazing weekend of listening and no tension. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but it was pleasant and I felt like she and I were functioning together well as two people. Was it a fluke, or is she slowly growing out of the ugly 3’s?

I woke up this morning hoping for a good listening morning and although she took a really long time to get dressed, I didn’t lose my cool. I just dealt with it and we had a really good morning, even though we were running late.

I’ve been stressed out beyond words with school this semester and sometimes Mathilda’s 3 year old shenanigans set me off easier than someone in “normal” circumstances. But not this weekend. I felt a lot of peace and we had a really great two days. I didn’t get a lot of school work done because David was gone a lot, but I did get quality time with my kid and that is what I hold in higher regard.

Thankful. I did say thanks to God a lot because I think He was pouring through me and was in the weekend a lot just laying a hand of care, patience and gentleness upon us. I think the good weekend was a combination of a lot of things; two being God and the way life just works as 3 year olds grow.

Onward! I pray for grace in advance
as school gets busier and the rest of
my life stays the same pace as I wear my “hats.”

Thankful.

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