Monthly Archives: January 2012

Point to the Plane

Every morning when Mathilda wakes up we sit in a yellow chair by the window. I feed her for a bit as she slowly wakes up for the day. After she’s done eating, we sit and look out the window as the sun starts to come up.

One day, not long ago, she made a noise when looking toward the sky. When I looked, I saw an airplane flying over and its lights were flashing. And that’s when "point to the plane" began. Sometimes we’ll see one off in the distance, and other times we’ll hear one overhead first, and then we’ll see it fly by. She loves the planes.

Today, she saw a plane and made her noise as if to say, "See it, mom" and when I said, "Point to the plane" she did. I smiled and I told her that she’s a smart kid.

Another milestone. Another day closer to becoming a kid.

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Deep Love

I was watching Mathilda drink her bottle tonight at dinner time. The past 10 1/2 months flashed through my mind, and I sat there in awe at how far we’ve come in such a short time. I’m 37 years old. 10 1/2 months isn’t a lot of time, but it’s been probably the most intense time of my whole entire life.

Mathilda melts me. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love her.

Motherhood was tough for me the first 2 to 3 months. It was unlike any other continual constant I had ever experienced and I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. But Mathilda is amazing. She’s growing into this amazing little person that makes me sit in awe. I now understand why parents love their kids so much. It’s the knowing every little thing about them from the very beginning that makes them so dear. Every little thing about them. From the bed head at one end to the chubby sweet feet at the other.

I’m thankful. I’m in awe. I love my girl. I couldn’t thank God anymore than I already have… I just don’t know how else to put my thanks into anymore words.

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Bed Head

I was woken up this morning, shortly after 6:00, by a very sweet little voice. I stretched, got out of bed and followed that little voice into the other room. I pulled up the shades and saw a sweet smile accompanied by early morning dazed eyes and some of the cutest bed head I’ve ever seen. It was sticking straight up in the back and wouldn’t be combed down for anything. It made me chuckle out loud. Precious.

I’m thankful that I get to start my day with such simple and sweet joy.

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A song in my head…

All the chisels I’ve dulled
carving idols of stone,
that have crumbled like sand ‘neath the waves.
I have restlessly built all my dreams in the sand,
just to watch them all wash away.

Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
to the One who sees past all I see.
Then reaching out my wear hand, I pray that You’d understand, You’re the only One who’s
faithful to me.

All the pennies I’ve wasted in my wishing well,
I have thrown like stones to the sea.
I have cast my lot, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly
for a faith to be faithful to me.

Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
to the One who sees past all I see. Then reaching out my weary hand, I pray that You’d understand. You’re the only One who’s
faithful to me.

(By Jennifer Knapp)

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Out from under a rain cloud…

… and into the sunshine.

As of last Monday, I have officially gotten out of a funk that I had been in for a couple of months. I think it all started with the whole Mathilda issue at work. A dark cloud had been hanging over my head and several things got under my skin that I never usually let affect me, and today was the first day of a work week, in a long while, where I didn’t wake up saying, “Ah crap, I’ve gotta go to work.”

I shared stuff at house church yesterday and had them play a song that totally moved me when I was talking to God last week. I told Jonathan yesterday that I had gotten just gotten out of a funk when he asked me how I was and he said, “Next time, send me a text and ask me to pray for you. I won’t ask why just ask me to pray.” I said thank you and that I would tuck that away and that I didn’t ask him to pray because I have my pride. He smiled a kind smile.

It’s nice to have the proverbial sun shining. It’s actually quite refreshing.

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Play Ball!!

What a way to start a blog…

I’m an avid New England Patriots fan and watching them win the AFC Championship last night was a delight. I was worried about Baltimore. They’re a tough team.

I’m not thrilled about a rematch with the Giants, to be perfectly honest, but going to the Super Bowl is fantastic nonetheless.

Play ball, boys! See you on the 5th.

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